Before you think I’ve run off and joined the Chicago Tourism Bureau, I have to warn you there is more summer festivity rant to follow…

WHY?!:) oh why? I work right in the flight path of Navy Pier, Water Tower, the MCA, NIKE, Sony, the Apple Store, blahdeeedaaaaaaaaaah…

When I get off the bus and walk to the Studios to check in for the day and get my gear, I am virtually swimming through the masses.

First reason for the snarky gleam in my eye: they are NOT AT WORK…

Second reason for that sparkle: wherever there are tourists there are MIMES!

Mimes are scary – they’re looking at me and when (and they will) follow you down the street, like the painted angel on roller skates, beggin’ to be bought off so they finally STEP OFF, I start running with my head down.

Our beloved tourists give them lots of money, so of course, that spawns MORE MIMES!

Yesterday was very hot and humid and when I saw the Big Silver Guy Mime outside of Water Tower, I actually felt pity for the first time EVER! His makeup was runny and missing in several places, and he was sitting on an overturned 50 gallon pickle bucket (THE mime seat of choice and Street Drummer instrument of beat as well). My hand was on my camera (the little one I carry around at all times) but I hesitated, knowing how I hate it when people take pictures of me while I’m working. (I’ve been know to quickly dive onto the ground and lay on my back and take pictures holding the camera almost straight up in the air to get a good picture of, say, thousands of ballons being let go at once).

So no picture of Mr. Guy.

By the time I got to the bus stop and got my first wiff of Horse *rine from the Carriage rides, my pity party was over.

Now these Carriages, IMHO, are the biggest rip-off in Visitor Land. You get into a sweet little gettup and they geddyUP you around the block and then down to the Lake. The Rip comes in when you see that you can’t really get TO the Lake you can just SEE the Lake in the distance beyond LAKE SHORE DRIVE, a 6 lane freeway that borders it. Hmmmm…

In the meantime, these horses are depositing whatever whenever and in the midst of July, it is a most unwelcome aroma. I LIVE IN THE CITY! If I want to smell animals I’ll go to a ZOO like a normal urban citizen. (BWAH – the country?! – get real – avoid at all costs unless there are nice little sheep to see…)

Because of some weird traffic science that I couldn’t see from my bus stop acreage (each person gets about an 18″ square piece of street to stand on while waiting. Think this is not a legal parameter? Violate it once and find out!), I was forced to wait for almost an hour for a bus that’s supposed to come every 10 minutes.

So I whipped out my current Bucket hat (something really sweet – I’m finally working on a new pattern so you can use Sugar ‘n Cream cotton) and started wailing. A big red Cadillac Escaldade was stuck in traffic right in front of me and *I* became the tourist entertainment. This made me knit faster for some reason (annoyance/adrenalin>?) and I was pullin’ yarn out of the satchel I had stuck between my feet (yes, within the 18″ square…) like there was no tomorrow.

I’d noticed a young man who was waiting watching me with interest – I gave him several smiles because he was a guy gettin’ off of work just like me – except his job was as one of the Break Dancers I’d just passed at the Water Tower Entrance. And heaaaay, they give you your money’s worth and don’t FOLLOW YOU AROUNd.

At one point he raised his arm high and went HEY and pointed to my bag. I’d just pulled about 3 feet of yarn out for another Bucket round and had flipped the whole skein onto the ground. It was fast a-rollin’ towards the gutter. The GUTTER. The Horses. A TRAGEDY mirrored on the face of my dancer – the look of panic on his face was precious! He did not want my yarn to go lightly into the MIRE!

And who says City People are harsh!>? Thank you Mr. Break Dancer Guy from the bottom of my evil little heart…

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Paris is the Sister City of Chicago and therein dwell the Original Mime Nation:

lower third pictures: is this guy on vacation in Paris FROM Chicago?

here I am enjoying the nonsense

please write your Alderman – so this guy won’t be at your bus stop next year…