L’Atelier ChicKnits presents:
Doube Gauge Final Jeopardy!!!
Contestant #2 hails from Chicago USA and thinks she knows everthing there is to know about knitting! Tell us about yourself Bonnie Marie…
Bonne Marie: “That’s Ms. Bonne Marie, Alex – well, the kids in my neighborhood call me the Worsted Weight Queen! On most evenings, you can find me, tiara in place, wailing away on some mouthwatering wardrobe.
Alex: “Right, let’s get to the game…”
Bonne: “I’ll take Super Chunky for $1000.00.”
Alex: “2.75 sts per inch”
Bonne: “What’s the gauge of a Super Chunky Yarn?” Super Chunky for $4000, please…”
Alex: “Incorrect! Ms. Marie, the correct answer is ‘what’s half the gauge of Worsted Weight?’ Next contestant, please…”
Bonne: “Just a minute, Wizard of Odds – is that why it’s taken me twice as long to knit this damn shell?”
Alex:: “Now, Bonnie, any expert would know, when using Fashion Yarns, the normal rules do not apply!”
Bonne: “Dude, you may be missin’ your moustache, but I’ve got all my brain cells, and I’m telling you: THERE ARE NO RULES!” This stuff is just plain —- welll —- I’d rather be stuck on stage with Bob Barker and his MagicTan than try and design anything out of this AGAIN!!! And it’s B-O-N-N-E!!!!! BONNNNNNNN!”
Alex: “SECURITY!!!! STAT!!!!”
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Television Without Pity:
Oh my God! You are such a riot!
Perhaps there is a diety out there somewhere who deals specifically with the vagrancies and hazards of knitting with fashion yarns…
Well, it looks damn good anyways. You show the fashion yarn who’s boss!!
you crack me up…
Hmmm, those are some classic knitting shows right there. I learned the knit and purl stitches with Grandma B. and Bob Barker.
When we have knitting stand-up comedy night at Yarnivore, you and Annie Modesitt are my headliners, for sure!
Its tough being under those lights in Yarn Jeopardy! And hey, I should know, because I was once a contestant on the $10,000 Pyramid. FYI…there were no questions about gauge or needle size. Go figure!
I’m laughing out loud!
Bob Barker does have a Magic Tan, doesn’t he? Whose do you think is more magical: Bob’s or George Hamilton’s?
P.S. Doncha love how Alex Trebec gets all smug when announcing the answers? I wonder if he’d be so smug if someone took away those cheat sheets he’s always got in his hand…
ALEX has gone into a most dysfunctional fugue the last season or so – ever since Jeopardy brought in those wonky college kids to do little spots in the program.
I think the producers were all threatened by the success of *Millionaire*, and all those upstart game and reality shows, so they told Mr. A he had to contemporize his image.
NOW, I’m sure he already thought he was the Cat’s PJs…
But off goes the MOUSTACHE! ON goes the sour milk attitude…
And to think I once sorta had a TV Crush on him…
Hey Tracey – come to think of it, I spent many an afternoon with my Busia (Polish for Grandmother) knitting and watching game shows and soap operas while knitting as a little girl while we waited for my Mom to come home from work. Thank God, none of the Fat Thumb Mittens I made exist to this day…
but THESE SHOWS ARE COMPLETELY CONDUCIVE TO KNITTING!
EUREKA!